Warning: Waffle Fries and Politics
05 Aug 2012Political talk follows. If you think your politics are different than mine, and you don't want to start hating me, you should stop reading. You should also probably be smarter.
This has been on my mind for a while. I think I have a draft post going back almost a year. I'm probably going to alienate people on both sides. That's not my intent. I just want to point out that there really aren't two sides to this argument.
I "get" (where "get" means "I understand how someone could think that way") a lot of the things that people do that are bad/abusive/douchey. I don't agree with these things, but I can wrap my brain around how people can feel that way. For instance, I "get" how someone could think racist things, how someone could live in a world or be brought up in a world where they're taught to believe that. I don't agree with racism; I find it repugnant and inarguably wrong. But I can see how someone, when brought up in a certain situation, could end up holding racist views. And I feel bad for those people. I don't excuse their behavior; being raised that way in no way excuses their ignorance when they've reached the point that they can make their own judgments. Time and history will show them the error of their ways. Society has moved on, and they are being justifiably, left behind.
I "get" how someone could be homophobic. The particularly religious, the juvenile, the sheltered. I can see how you could, as an adult, arrive at the point of view that being gay is not ok/against nature/whatever that person wants to tell themselves to make them feel like they're ok in being discriminatory against homosexuals. Again, I can see how someone could arrive at that opinion. I don't agree with it, I think it's a ridiculous point of view (and won't even dive into the ridiculous things you would have to believe if you took the Bible literally), but I can see how you'd feel that way.
Those were two of the hardest paragraphs I've probably written here, mostly because I'm fairly certain at least someone people will take away from it that I think being a racist or homophobe is ok. I don't. I think it's reprehensible. I think it's ridiculously outdated thinking. Expressing those views makes me immediately assume the person's views on everything are moronic. That clear enough?
That being said, even if I can rationalize being against homosexuality, I don't "get" being against gay marriage. I just can't wrap my head around it. If I put myself in the shoes of a "traditional marriagist" (and let's be honest, these days, traditional marriage seems to mean having two or three marriages and an affair [rimshot]), I can't get from point A (gay marriage) to point B (gay marriage is bad).
For instance, let's say there's a gay couple. Today (in the US, let's not address the world as a whole), they can be monogomous, live together, share a bank account, pay their taxes (separately), own common goods, eat waffle fries from Chic-Fil-A. The only thing they really can't do in most states is get married and take advantage of the legal things that bestows on them (shared health insurance, visitation rights in the hospital, combined taxes, etc.)
How does any of that impact anyone but the couple?
Put another way, if every state in the US passed a law tomorrow allowing gay marriage, what would happen? How would your life change? More specifically, how would your life change if you were against gay marriage?
Your church can still choose to not perform gay marriage.
You can still choose to think homosexuality and gay marriage are an abomination.
Your can still teach your children to hate gay people.
In other words, you can continue to be an enormous asshole.
Everything is exactly the same. The sun is in the sky, birds are chirping, and you can still be a giant douchebag. Except now we've bestowed common human rights on gay couples. And I can get waffle fries without feeling that I'm losing a small piece of my soul.
I imagine their are two arguments that folks cling to. First, that gay marriage is against the Bible. Second, that gay marriage is a slippery slope to something even more untowards.
The Bible argument is illegitimate. The Bible being against gay marriage simply means you can continue to be against gay marriage. Your church doesn't have to allow gay marriage. Hell (I wrote that without immediately understanding the small amount of irony in word choice), your church can disallow gay members entirely. That's fine. It's a private institution. Be as douchey as you want.
The slippery slope argument is even more asinine. "If we allow gay marriage, what's next, a man marrying a dog?"
No. Stop being an asshole. That's the Godwin's Law of gay marriage arguments. Seriously, stop being an asshole.
So, here we are. I can get why someone wouldn't want homosexuality to exist, but since it does, I can't wrap my head around any legitimate reason to be against gay marriage. Hell (there it is again), wouldn't it be better to wrap some Godliness around a gay couple by putting them into a monogamous relationship? Wouldn't that help to stop the spread of the "gay"?
Again, I'm editorializing my own work here. Obviously, the stereotypes that homosexuals are promiscuous or that homosexuality can be spread like a sickness are ridiculous. And for me to state them is offensive. But, isn't capitalizing on those stereotypes to show why the "traditional marriagists" should be in favor of gay marriage worth it? If not, I apologize to the offended. Unless you're a homophobe. I'm glad you're offended.
Anyway, I would like to get past this human rights hurdle early in my life so that we can move onto surmounting bigger issues. Cancer. The environment. The economy. Getting Dan Harmon back onto Community. We're wasting so much time, mindshare, and hurt feelings fighting a battle that will be over in the next 10 years. Like it or not, gay marriage will be legal in almost every state within the next 10 years. I will state that here confidently. Let's stop pissing into the wind and move on.
It's (well past) time to grant homosexual couples the same rights as heterosexual couples. It's the right thing to do. It's certainly the moral thing to do. (And, arguably, the Christian thing to do.)
When we do, I'll be able to eat some waffle fries again. And they will taste awesome.
Awesomer than ever.